What I Learned in Having Sensor Parents

 

So I know some of you may have heard me gripe about Sensors not understanding Intuitives like me, a few times. It is a well-known fact in my household that I am the only Intuitive, and thus considered an oddity (although we do love each other dearly). At first glance, it seems I’ve little in common with my folks, aside from a weird sense of sarcasm, my Mom’s ditziness, and my Father’s obstinate ways. They like the concrete and real; I like the abstract, the daydreams, the theoretical. They value common sense; they claim I have none (or little, at least).

However, I will admit that Sensor parents have taught me a few things, among which are:

  1. Experience can be invaluable, and it can help to shape you into who you are. This is so very, very true. As a big picture-thinker, I can easily see how past experiences have a domino effect on both present and future circumstances and possibilities. For instance, as a child, I was encouraged to read. A lot. This eventually transformed into a love for writing as well (I clearly recall wanting to write an entire rendition of a “Magic Tree House” story on a single paper plate for my First-Grade class, and was genuinely annoyed that I did not have more paper to write on, and was forced to wrap up a single, rather incomplete, chapter on the back of my plate. 😦 ).
  2. Treasure the small, precious moments in life– take time to stop and smell the roses every once in a while. Often, I get too caught up in my own world, in my own daydreams and thoughts– which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in and of itself. But in doing that too often, I sometimes miss out on GOD’S world, and the beautiful Creation He’s created. While I don’t generally like using my Inferior Extraverted Sensing, my parents (particularly my mother) have coaxed it forward, causing me to be fairly impulsive at times, and more in the moment when need be– whether it’s appreciating Creation’s wonders, or preventing myself from wrecking while driving. (Oh yes– driving is definitely a Sensing user! As is my martial arts. 😉 ) It’s helped me appreciate blessed moments more, with and without loved ones (hey, an introvert’s gotta cope), and to savor that time more.

CaH1

Calvin is an Intuitive trapped in a Sensor world, with his Sensor buddy, Hobbes

3.  Sometimes, you need to (unfortunately) adult and use common sense. Common Sense is not usually specified to any particular function, but I’ll say, for the sake of argument, it’s likely a Te (Extraverted Thinking)-related function. For those not in the know, Te is NOT in my regular stack-up (which is Ni-Fe-Ti-Se); it happens to be a Shadow Function of mine– a MBTI topic we’ll get to in a bit. But all that to say, Te is not only a weaker function of mine, it is both very underused and unhealthy when I do attempt to use it (much more adept at using the more deep-thinking Ti, anyways), thus giving the illusion that I have no “Common Sense.” To quote a certain character from a certain comic strip:

Calvin1

Yup, this sums me up pretty well– while my folks look on in silent dismay, shaking their heads. But sometimes, I’ve learned, you do need to be sensible and responsible. You do need Common Sense. You do need to “adult”. It sucks at times, but it’s a part of life.

Are you an Intuitive? Did you grow up with Sensor parents? If so, what lessons did they teach you?

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Image Credit:

Google Images

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Staying on the Path

Last rainy September, on our way home from Church one Sunday morning, my Mom and I nearly ran into a felled tree, in the middle of the road. This forced us to take a detour onto a back, narrow, very windy road, followed by several other possibly equally confounded and frustrated drivers.  It was extremely tiring, and unnerving because we didn’t know where we were going to end up, and the pressure seemed to only build up behind the long line of anxious drivers behind us. It was so tempting to drive off the main road, take a side road to try to take a short-cut, to put off the pressure of the long line of cars following behind us. And it didn’t help that we could only see a bit of the road, directly ahead of us, at a time– the rest was encapsulated in a dense fog.

But you know what? It reminded me of something.

(Yes, this is where I get up on my little soapbox and start to preach. A tiny bit.)

You see, this is where being an Intuitive is handy– we see unconscious connections, and we connect them all to the bigger picture. In this mini-sermon instance, that bigger picture is life itself, or rather, the Christian Life. We have no idea what the future holds for us, exactly– individually or as a group. Trees block a path God warns us not to go down. The road of Life is foggy, and it is impossible to know exactly where the next turn up ahead is if you can barely make out three feet in front of you.

Imagine this: You’re on a random road trip, one of those terrible surprise trips (I say terrible, being a planner myself) where the person taking you on the trip, the one person knowing the destination and how to get there, won’t tell you how you’re getting there. You have a notion of the destination, but again, it is foggy out, and you barely know which way to turn. Those promising shortcuts off the beaten path are starting to look more and more tempting as you get more and more lost in the middle of nowhere. Your friend, the one who suggested the trip and is riding shotgun with you, is being your human GPS, but it’s hard and is getting harder to hear him over all the noise– your cell is ringing, your artificial GPS is constantly repeating, “recalculating,” confusing you further, and the radio is blaring music. Your friend asks you to please turn off/down the radio, shut off/ignore the cell and the GPS, and simply listen to him– he knows exactly where you’re going, and how to get there. You are reluctant, however, to trust in just him. He asks if you trust him; you say you do. He says to pull over, get out, play “fire engine” (switch seats fast) and let him have the wheel. The wheel of YOUR car. Suddenly, you get nervous. What if he’s wrong? What if you get there late? What if you end up somewhere completely different than what he told you? What if… What if…

Some of you might be making connections already– if so, that is fantastic. 🙂

For those that haven’t, yet… The friend, obviously, is Jesus and Ruach, your Comforter, Savior, Counselor and Guide on Life’s weary travels to your destination, which is to be with God (many say, “heaven,” but technically it’s supposed to be wherever God is– especially since He’ll be creating a new heavens and a new earth in the future for us to live in!). The AI GPS, the radio blasting, and the cell phone? All earthly things, all things that can distract or mislead us from God (if you think about the soil parable, this would be the thorns and the seed). He has the ultimate map, and knows the way well– we need to trust him, and turn off that noise. There will be temptations, oh yes– seeming shortcuts to the top, to your destination, but these will often come at a price, and more often than not get you more lost.

The foggy road is your life– full of potential, but also full of uncertainty. You only see a bit of the road at the time, not the whole thing. The same’s true in life; we often live day-by-day, moment-by-moment, wallowing in simple predictability. We try to make the most of those moments, neglecting to think of what could be or what is to come, rather than what is. God shows us bits and pieces of the puzzle at a time, but when we stand back to see how some of them start to come together, we start to see the bigger picture of why He does things the way He does. We may not completely understand, but sometimes we don’t have to.

When I was 14, in the midst of the Swine Flu Craze, I became quite faint-headed and ill in the middle of the night. Concerned, I woke my mother, and she went to the kitchen to get me some medication; I followed. Next thing I know, I was waking up on the kitchen floor, my mom or dad asking me how many fingers they held up– I had passed out. Shocked, they took me to the ER, and since the docs automatically assumed I had Swine Flu like everyone else (to this day I doubt that was it; they misdiagnosed a lot of random cases that day as S.F.), they gave me what they had been giving everyone else, Tamaflu, and sent me home to recover. The next morning, I found my thighs and parts of my legs had broken out into hives; I had an allergic reaction to Tamaflu. (Now, when I was fairly young, I’d been tested for every common allergy on the market, save for Tamaflu and maybe a couple others, and they had all tested negative, except for extreme amounts of dust/dust mites) I had received a short-term scenario of what God saw, long term: Had I not been sick, I wouldn’t have gotten Mom. Had I not passed out, I wouldn’t have gone to the ER. Had I not gone to the ER, I would have not received the Tamaflu shot under the fairly ignorant assumption that I had Swine Flu, and thus would have never, ever discovered my allergy– which could have had devastating effects in the future. God works in mysterious ways, showing us what to do, piece by piece, bit by bit, but He always leads us out to the other end, just like Mom and I eventually got home safely, that same morning. All we need to do is literally let God take the steering wheel, not backseat drive, and trust in Him.

Trust and Obey?

You may know me well enough.

You may know my fave colors, my fave foods, how I make myself crack up when I fangirl in private (which is fairly often), my unsure status on whether or not I’m autistic (long story, for those that DON’T know…), how insanely picky I am when it comes to men/food/clothing/perfectionism in general…

But most of you probably don’t know, I teach Sunday School for tykes (First and Second graders, to be precise) about twice a month. Yup. Me. Teaching.

(Don’t get me wrong, I’m usually good with kids, but getting them to listen EXTENSIVELY to me? That be the No. 1 reason I am NOT a teacher, folks, haha…)

Don’t get me wrong, they’re good kids, smart kids, even. You can tell which of their parents work with them on stuff. I try to sound invested in their lives, because it’s how I’ve learned to connect with others– ask them how their weekend was, if they’re doing ok in school, if they’re excited about Halloween, Ooo, you’re going as a princess this year? Which one? What’s your costume look like? If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? , etc, etc. They’re actually pretty good at it, and I try to involve and encourage the shyer ones a bit, if I can (and of course, if one helps me do something, they all want to help and seem important, so I try to divvy up the tasks as fairly as possible, so everyone gets a turn.). If they start getting restless, I wrap up the lesson as best as I can (because most kids don’t listen if they’re restless– let’s be honest here), and we play a game that gets them moving, but involves a major theme from the story/lesson, so it’s more ingrained in them. Then we usually wrap up with a small snack, and sometimes the girls will want to color.

So last week, they were relearning a story that was quite familiar to them: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abenego, and the Fiery Furnace. (For those not familiar with the story: Check out Daniel 3:1-30.) They knew it, at least, mostly. They did not know specific details, however (such as the kidnapping of the friends from their homelands, the pagan name changes, and that the furnace was heated seven times hotter than normal– so hot that the guards who were carrying the tied-up men to throw them in died just from being NEAR the heat! ), and when I asked the girls (since it was an all-girls class that day) what they would do, if they were told to bow down and worship a statue, or they would be killed by a furnace, one of them had an interesting answer:

“I’d bow down, but I’d still believe in Jesus/God in my heart.”

This, my friends, is the very profound mind of a simple but sweet child, and one of the reasons I love them dearly. How many of US are like that? Think of the disciples– many of them said to Jesus, before His arrest, “I would die for You, Rabbi,”– but how many actually DID, when that moment came? Instead, they fled the scene, as prophecy had foretold, even the closest of the Twelve denied knowing Him. I think that often WE are like that, too. We think to ourselves, “It’s OK to lie to the world, and for the world, as long as I know what I believe on the inside is true and righteous and–” Uh, no. No way, no how. God does not want half-hearted commitment, He wants all or nothing, and the same goes for His Son.

Now, you might think I’m saying this with disgust. With pure condemnation.

And that couldn’t be more wrong.

You see, even when we turned our backs on Jesus like cowards (yes, I most certainly said WE), when we humbly came crawling back to Him, apologizing and asking forgiveness, to make a commitment to start afresh– He forgives. He heals. He cleanses us of unrighteous, of cowardice. He makes us bold, for His sake. For His Name’s Sake. We only need to place our faith in Him, not ourselves.

Before I started teaching, I doubted. I doubted what God could do through me. I doubted the abilities He’d given me. I had seriously doubted that me, of ALL people, could be a POSITIVE influence on these precious little ones, when I had messed up so badly in the past. I still struggle with devos and reading my Bible frequently enough.

Guess what? God said, “I want you to do it anyway.”

And, as always, He is right on the dime.

The bigger question is, when (not if) you eventually screw up majorly (if you haven’t already), will you bring your broken, humbled heart and allow Him to fix it, make you new and whole inside? Or will you keep your distance, in either pride or humiliation, too disgraced to look upwards to heaven, or too “independent” and confident of your own abilities, and not God’s, to help lift you out of the mire? (And, let me assure you, that that mire turns to quicksand mighty fast)

Our words may say one thing, but our actions ultimately reflect who we are, and what we believe. To quote Blanca, “Cause if you don’t stand for nothing/ You always fall for something/This isn’t how it’s meant to be/So Imma keep on Walking/And let Him do the talking/ Imma have to make a scene.” So, what’s it going to be– the world, or God?

A Poem of Appreciation

When

Jesus left

Us, we

Struggled

From being

Cleft

From Him;

But He endow’d

His followers

With Ruach

Within.

Many great signs,

Healing, teaching,

But none quite

As bold

As preaching.

Near and far,

Far and wide,

The Mighty Spirit

Hath never

Left their side;

Imbued with

The Holy One’s Power,

They rise up, and

Do not hesitate

To shower

Their congregates

With love, peace, wisdom

And more;

Correction, gentle

Absolving

Of sin, which

The Almighty abhors.

Indeed, it is the minister

Who helps to pave

The Way,

And battle the sinister.

God bless our pastors,

We love them,

Each one;

They will get

Their due reward;

“Well Done.”

 

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Happy Pastor Appreciation Month!!!

 

 

MBTI: The Endearing and Compassionate ENFJs

MBTI: The Endearing and Compassionate ENFJs

So have you ever had that ONE friend? No, not that one weird friend (although, all things considered, 90% of MY friends are “weird,” by normal population standards, so … *inserts cackling face*). I mean the super sweet, doting, generous, GIVING friend– the one who who gives their affection, time, gifts, talents, and yes, advice, to you. They might be an ISFJ, like one of my younger brothers. They might be an INFJ. Or E/INFP. Or ESFJ, like one of my besties.

Or they might be the playfully nicknamed “Mom friend,” ENFJ (a certain ATLA character comes to mind… I’ll shush now, Steve 😉 ).

Empathetic, social, compassionate, and understanding, ENFJs are masterful at reading people, and guessing what it is they want or need. In an unhealthy ENFJ, this can even translate to manipulation in some instances, but usually the motives are unselfish and very caring, because they think they know exactly what said person/people need(s), and will often give struggling loved ones advice on how to proceed with a problem (as well as a sympathetic ear and a comforting hug). Being incredibly giving to other people, it is important to remind them to take time for self-care every now and then. While having strong values due to Fe and Ni, the Dominant Fe’s priority of group care over self-care often (sometimes unfortunately) overrides these individualistic values, leading them to become more placating to their friends and family. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation at times for this sensitive type, even when surrounded by people they love and are familiar with.

However, this gregarious, friendly and affectionate type tends to be popular and much-loved by many people. Like ENFPs, they are fun-loving, and they adore people, and genuinely wish to understand them. They are normally intelligent, honest, energetic, and quick-moving– the latters likely due to Tertiary Extraverted Sensing. They can be great leaders, and are often involved on things like committees. Interestingly, they possess a different kind of intellect than their introverted cousins, INFJs, INFPs, and most NT types– they usually don’t care for leisure reading, whether for entertainment or information, unless it is something they are extremely interested in, or captures their interest immediately. They possess a vast emotional and social intellect, which I admire and respect.

I see this a lot in one of my younger cousins (who, as a minor, shall remain unnamed), one of the few, rare ENFJs I am privileged enough to make the acquaintance of. She is popular with her peers, many friends. Very caring and sweet, close with her ESFP and INTJ sisters. She is also quite athletic (Se-attributed, no doubt, and likely encouraged by an Se-Dom father and older sister), and even helps her older sister’s team by keeping score. Yet, she has a deeper side to her that sometimes raises its head when we play games like “Would You Rather?” or just talk about life, and I suspect this to be her Ni at play, though I think she more commonly uses it to understand and relate to her friends and family. Additionally, she often utilizes a combo of Fe-Se to artistically express herself, which she has gotten to be extremely good at. 🙂

ENFJ Cognitive Functional Stack-Up:

Fe (Extraverted Feeling): Conscious function. They tend to make more decisions with their heart, not their head, and since it’s an Extraverted function, it is consciously concerned about doing what is right for the GROUP’s benefit, not just their own. Dominant and Auxiliary Fe and Fi users are often sweet in nature, being pleasant peace-keepers, and Fe in particular genuinely does not wish to upset that (sometimes delicate) balance of peace between friends and family.

Ni (Introverted iNtuition): Unconscious/subconscious function. This function copilots with Fe, and helps the ENFJ understand people so well– how and why they think the way they do, and how that thinking can affect their behavior, and, finally, how that behavior can affect other people— thus, the whole group that Fe is so concerned with. They easily and internally pick up on small, subtle patterns of behavior that can help them help others in the long run, and give ENFJs a sense that they KNOW what they’re talking about, when advising a person. It also gives them a better read on people– whether or not they’re being lied to, for example. Ni is keen when it comes to subconsciously picking up on what isn’t necessarily trustworthy or provable. They thrive on the unknown, the complex.

Se (Extraverted Sensing): Conscious function. This function applies to the concrete, sensory world around the ENFJ in the here and now, and can easily cause them to be great lovers of aesthetics and physical pleasures, like beauty and great quality food. This is a fascinating balance between Ni and Se, because Ni is often concerned with the beauty of the abstract, whereas Se likes things it can physically sense, feel, smell, taste, etc. ENFJs can be connoisseurs of both Sensing and iNtuition, in this case.

Ti (Introverted Thinking): Unconscious/subconscious function, and the ultimate weakness in the ENFJ’s stack-up (THIS, I would wager, is likely why they *usually* don’t like to read for fun. *Usually*. ). This function helps to internally analyze any information the other functions have collected about, well, anything. But since Ti naturally prefers things like, say, mathematical, psychological, or scientific theories, it is often left unused. However, if balanced sufficiently well with the other functions, Ti can actually help the ENFJ strengthen that Ni gut instinct on those patterns, giving them logical reasons why those patterns exist, and helping the ENFJ form a more solid, well-founded opinion/argument (I know, I know– taboo word for us Feelers 😉 ).

Many passionate, world-changing, and visionary people are ENFJ, and often thrive on change that helps others, and makes the world a better place overall. They are compassionate innovators– usually people who want to make a positive difference. Even if it means helping bit-by-bit— because they know it will have a domino effect– by just putting a smile on someone’s face or making their load lighter. They are givers and helpers by nature. Even the ones who have turned to the “dark side,” often have their “moral reasons” for manipulating others, claiming it will benefit all involved, but fortunately, these unhealthy and more controlling ENFJs are relatively few and far in between the healthy, genuinely caring ones.

Overall, ENFJs are normally sweet, outgoing, passionate, understanding, supportive,  giving people who are fun to be around– but may need an occasional nudge for self-care.

Famous/Historical ENFJs: Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Jennifer Lawrence, Dakota Fanning, Maya Angelou, Reese Witherspoon, Andy Griffith

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Sources:

https://www.personalityclub.com/blog/famous-enfj/

https://www.ranker.com/list/historical-figures-meyers-briggs-types/genevieve-carlton

https://www.typeinmind.com/feni/

https://www.personalitypage.com/html/ENFJ.html

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/10/14/5-big-differences-between-enfjs-and-esfjs/

Martin Luther King Jr. as leader: A TED Talks playlist

 

 

MBTI: the Independent ISTP

MBTI: the Independent ISTP

 

Hello, everyone!

I am back and in action after last week’s unfortunate events… for those not in the know, I had to forego my weekend retreat due to my paternal grandmother suddenly passing away. (Which I previously wrote a poem about– I’m taking it a lot better than my youngest ESTP brother and my ISTJ Dad, both who were very close to her. She was ISTJ too, in case you were wondering. 😉 Very traditional, stubborn, quiet and hardworking, my grandma!) But anyways, onwards to this weekend’s type!

I don’t know a lot about ISTPs, save for that they’re commonly used in fiction, particularly in YA fiction (to which Steve will come after me if I say anything further on that matter, so we will save that discussion for another time… 😉 ). I do know *maybe* two of them in real life (the maybe being that I’m uncertain if they really are confirmed ISTPs…), a work friend of my ISFP mother’s (explaining why they get on well!) and one of my closest, best friends, who is a PK (Pastor’s Kid), a definite adventurer, and a bit of a natural rebel, as per ISTP standards.

Unlike their INTP cousins, ISTPs may be logical, but tend to favor the physical and kinesthetic over the theoretical. Like ESTPs, they are more live-in-the-moment (that Se again!) brilliant adventurers who love to, as one character put it, “Take chances! Make mistakes! And get messy!” They live in the HEAT of the moment, and often thrive if given the chance to work under pressure– one reason they make good protagonists for stories, particularly high-stakes stories. They like following rules and theoretical knowledge only if it agrees with their sense of logic and is practical, and are fond of marching to the beat of their own drummer, unlike the traditional ISTJ.

Very independent, and possessing a high drive for action and adventure, this is one type that can bore relatively quickly if they have nothing to do. They like to analyze, to take things apart– whether it be an argument, or, more likely, something physical they can touch– to see how it works, and what its practical application is. They analyze best when they are alone to reflect, being natural introverts.

Ultimate blunt realists, they are unafraid to tell it how it is, regardless if it may hurt someone unintentionally, in the moment. They are tough, often no-nonsense (in a way); my PK ISTP bestie is actually going to school for criminal justice, to be an officer someday– a field this action-and-justice-oriented type would surely excel at.

ISTP Cognitive Functional Stack-up:

Ti (Introverted Thinking)– Subconscious/ unconscious. Used to objectively analyze whatever person, theory, problem, or physical object in front of them, and try to figure out not only how they/it work(s), but WHY they/it work(s). This function often manifests itself well with Se, making ISTPs usually gifted with technology and mechanics.

Se (Extraverted Sensing)– Conscious. The more impulsive and adventurous side of the ISTP that simply can’t sit still, that has to be doing, has to be going, has to be at least productive– some way, some how. ISTPs may have difficulty sitting still in a classroom or at work, unless it is at an intensive computer with a complex program that needs worked on.

Ni (Introverted iNtuition)–Subconscious/unconscious. Ni manifests itself as an independent, naturally guarded cynic who highly values their free will and sense of expression–and is naturally wary of authority figures, particularly any such figures who would attempt to suppress or put limits on such an independent will. Woe to those who might dare… Woe…

Fe (Extraverted Feeling)– Conscious. They can seem like sarcastic, anti-social lone wolves at times, but this is usually due to the fact that they feel they lack the typical social graces that Feelers normally possess (without being sarcastic, etc.). That being said, the Inferior Fe is a rarer, softer, kinder side expressed in usually an abnormal, understanding/considerate, protective or playful way–similar to their INTP cousins.

ISTPstackup

Examples of famous/historical ISTPs: Sally Ride, Earnest Hemingway, Amelia Earhart, Steve Jobs, Bruce Lee, Harrison Ford, Michael Jordan,Lance Armstrong, Katherine Hepburn

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Image Credits:

https://www.economist.com/science-and-technology/2018/02/08/new-evidence-in-the-search-for-amelia-earhart

 

Other Sources: 

http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISTP.html

 

Down to Bed, Up to Heaven

Down to Bed, Up to Heaven

Now I lay me

Down to bed,

Closing mine eyes, I

Rest my weary head.

If breath doth fail

Before I awaken,

I do presume, then

My soul to be

Taken

Away from the

Misery

And life’s woes,

No longer worrying

O’er mere earthly foes.

The battle was fought,

The battle was won–

My Lord greets me,

“Dear Friend–

Well Done.”

 

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In loving memory of Jane Moore, mother, grandmother, sister and mother-in-law. Passed away the eve of Sept. 25th, 2018, EST. Age: 87.

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Image Credit:

http://willoughbyandassociates.com/tools/puerta-del-cielo.php